>Onigiri<>Reflection<

Saturday, May 31, 2003 @ 01:27 a.m.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Im now 16, and not happy. :bows:

I think I hate my ex-boyfriend, Scott..
Naiteiru:
me miss scott ;__;
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
i know you do
Naiteiru:
and i still love him, but i dun know if he even misses or thinks of me its so sad ;__;
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
he does
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
but hes in lov with ashley
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
i cant really say much
Naiteiru:
i dun even want to know. in fact, in now in fucking tears.
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
omg
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
he didnt tell you
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
how could he not tell you
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
O.o
Naiteiru:
he never told me anything of the sort.
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
he prolly didnt want ot hurt you
Naiteiru:
im always the last to know shit ..

See when he broke up with me, he TOLD me he left me for distance, and not another girl. and Chris (LSR) leeked that Scott told him he left me for some other girl. That hurts me so much. I hate being lied to. My god Im soo hurt, that im in tears. Even more I hate the fact he asked me to promise him I'd never leave him because of the distance, and he'd promise the same. Then again I can't hate him off the bat til I ask him. LSR lies so much.. that he may have been lying about that. o.o

More evidence LSR is not "Andrew". Poor Miss Nemi.
Conversation time: 7:00pm (eastern)

Naiteiru:
so whats tomorrow >.>
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
to more days till my birthday, thats what tommorrow is
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
XP
Naiteiru:
...
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
lmao
Naiteiru:
well you arent important till two more days then XP
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
lol
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
so your b/day is tommorrow?
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
wow
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
the irony
Naiteiru:
^__^
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
lol
Naiteiru:
soo... does Nemi know the really who?
Naiteiru:
you?
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
say what?
Naiteiru:
Does Nemi know what you really look like?
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
nope
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
never showed her
Naiteiru:
I can.
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
no
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
im oogleh
Naiteiru:
no you arent
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
bah!
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
liar
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
XP
Naiteiru:
im not lying o.o
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
thats why i dun show of meh own pics in al
Naiteiru:
thats sad.. and you still plan on meeting her at ComicCon. If i were her Id never trust you aver again.
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
nah
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
im tellin her at the last moment i cant make it
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
i reek as a human, so i shuld live up to it
Naiteiru:
:rolls eyes: yes you do, you really do reek as a human now.
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
"bows"
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
i trye
Naiteiru:
i was surfing the web when i happened to run across a pic of you, scott, and me ^__^
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
O.o fer real?
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
where?
Naiteiru:
Chrys' page
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
O.O
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
lemme see
Naiteiru:
http://members.aol.com/sgseward/082707.jpeg
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
OMG!
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
NO!
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
NO
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
NONONONONO~!
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
PLZ!
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
DUN EVER EVER EVER
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
EVER
JUICY FRUIT is loved by lain says:
SHOW THAT PIC TO ANYONE!

Saturday, March 1, 2003 @ 10:54 p.m.

I'm fading. Fading into the abyss. Disappearing into the undergrowth of time and space. Do not bother trying to save me. I am beyond help. I am but a shadow of my former self, wandering through this life, waiting for the last wisps of my self to evaporate, vanish forever into nothingness. Those who try to stop the inevitable are face with more pain and strife than they would have experience by just accepting the fate. I have left. I am gone. What you now see is nothing more than a pale reflection of the greatness that was once me. I'm no longer a person, just a hollowed shell, a body without a soul. I am gone. I have left. I have disappeared, faded into the darkness of which I came from, which we all came from. I know it's hard to understand, how am I gone when I am here? But you will notice it in my eyes. There is nothing. Nothing is left. I have left. Faded. Before long, this empty vessel that once held my being will fade and die too. It has no purpose, no will to live. It is but a worthless collection of skin and bones, meaningless without the light in it that I once was. My light had become dim. It has now gone out. You never saw this great light within, you'll never realized the glow is gone, but do not blame yourself. How could you have known, how could you have seen? It's not as if you were expected to use your mind or soul. You never had the capacity, and this is not your fault. Even as I leave, I can't help but feel sorry for you. My existence was short lived, but rich, for I knew life. You live and don't know life. This is a great tragedy. I hope that my fading will force you to see, but seeing as I had to inform you of this loss, I highly doubt it. If so, I will be waiting for you in the darkness, one day, we may meet again, and our souls will dance across time and space while our meaningless hollow bodies continue existing, on however inadequate a level, on the earth below. But my departure will go unnoticed. Again, not your fault. Never could the blissful know why the tormented souls are how they are. It's not in their being, not in their way. I've faded into the abyss. I've left this meaningless existence behind, left behind a shadow of the greatness that was once me. And I finally know. The meaning of life is to attain happiness, and now free, I feel only bliss. The true meaning of life is to leave it behind, free your soul from that unneeded pain, put your being to rest, fall into the shadow of time and space. Fade out of reality, and into paradise.